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Viva-Granada :: View topic - Earthquake in Burnley
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Earthquake in Burnley

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Joined: Mar 06, 2007
Posts: 61
Location: Albunol

PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 8:30 pm    Post subject: Earthquake in Burnley Reply with quote

<font class="content">Disaster in Burnley
An Appeal for Your Help

A major earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale hit in the early
hours of Tuesday morning. Epicentre: Burnley , England .
News of the disaster was swiftly carried abroad by the town's 35,000 racing
pigeons, as victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering
"feckinhell" and "chuffin-norah".

The earthquake decimated the town, causing 30.54 worth of damage. Several
priceless collections of mementos from the Balearic Isles and the Spanish
Costa's were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historical burnt out
cars were disturbed.

Many locals were woken up well before their Giro arrived. Keith Feltcher of
Radio Lancashire reported that hundreds of residents were confused and
bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that something
interesting had happened in Burnley .

One resident, 15 year old mother of 3, Tracy Sharon Braithwaite said: "It
was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Madonna came running into my bedroom
crying. The twins, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all. I was
still shaking when I was watching Jeramy Kyle the next morning". Locals
were determined not to be bowed, as looting, muggings and car crime carried
on as normal.

So far, whilst the British Red Cross has managed to ship 4000 crates of
Sunny Delight to the area to relieve the suffering of stricken locals,
rescue workers searching through the rubble have found large quantities of
personal belongings including, benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke
at Argos , and bone china from Pound-stretcher.

Can You Help....?
Please respond generously to our appeal for food and clothing for the
victims of this disaster.

Clothing is needed most of all, especially:

Fila or Burberry baseball caps

Kappa tracksuit tops (his or hers)

Shell suits (female)

White sports socks

Rock-Fort boots or any other product sold in Primark

Culturally sensitive food parcels are harder to put together, but your
efforts will make a difference. Microwave meals, tinned baked beans,
ice-cream and cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew are ideal.

Please do not give anything that requires peeling.


22p buys a biro for filling in compensation claims
2 buys chips, crisps and a blue fizzy drink for a family of 9
5 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm a child's

Urgently required: Tinned whippet food. Bones for Jack Russells

Please do not send tents for shelter.
The sight of such posh housing will cause discontent in the surrounding
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