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Viva-Granada :: View topic - Chav Nativity in Coventry
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Chav Nativity in Coventry

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Joined: Mar 06, 2007
Posts: 61
Location: Albunol

PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 10:31 pm    Post subject: Chav Nativity in Coventry Reply with quote

<font class="content">There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?).
She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit?
He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref.
One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like "Oo ya lookin at?"
Gabriel just goes "You got one up the duff, you have." Mary's totally
gobsmacked. She gives it to him large "Stop dissin' me yeah? I ain't no
Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!"
So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself. Liz
is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an' that.
She's like "Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I
reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra weez gonna get on the
social an' that." Mary goes "Yeah, s'pose you're right"
Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponce a donkey, an' go
dahn Bethlehem on that. They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop,
yeah? To have her bay-bee an' that. But there ain't no room at the inn,
innit? So Mary an' Joe break an' enter into this garridge, only it's
filled wiv animals. Caahs an' sheep an' that. Then these three geezers
turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their 'eads. They're like
"Respect, bay-bee Jesus", an' say they're wise men from the East End.
Joe goes: "If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an'
myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?"
It's all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got
another message from this Lord geezer. He's like "The police is comin
an' they're killin' all the bay-bees. You better nash off to Egypt." Joe
goes "You must be monged if you think I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a minging
donkey" Gabriel sez "Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you
So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin' the first-born an'
it's safe an' that. Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an'
Jesus turns water into Stella.</font>
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